


erase myself

by sincities



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Angst?, Doubt, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24339847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincities/pseuds/sincities
Summary: he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, face still turned away from aleena. he couldn’t let her see him like this. they were supposed to have a nice, quiet afternoon together, why’d he have to start acting like an idiot?
Relationships: Aleena/Noel Miller
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	erase myself

**Author's Note:**

> (lesbians-4-kelsey on tumblr!)

aleena laid beside noel, listening to the clicks and clacks of his controller. resting her head on a pillow as she watched his back. he was sitting at the edge of the couch with his headset on, neck stretched and eyes glued to the screen. 

whenever she had time to spare, she spent it with him. watching him laugh, or smile, she enjoyed everything about it. in a way, it was like keeping a picture of him in her pocket when he wasn’t there. even when he wasn’t doing anything, his presence was soothing.

stretching her arms and legs, she curled up on the couch and began to doze off until the pillows beneath her jolted violently. her eyes snapped up to noel, now standing and gripping his headset, and curious, she listened.

“what do you mean i fucking missed the kill? bullshit!”

a voice, equally as loud, screamed so loud she could hear it from his headset, although she couldn’t comprehend what was being said. noel paused for a moment, jaw clenched, brows furrowed. he ripped the headset off and threw it on the coffee table before shouting into the room.

“say whatever the fuck you want, i'm not listening to you!”

his face was red from anger, and then embarrassment because he hated being like this in front of aleena. it made him think it would make her leave. 

he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, face still turned away from aleena. he couldn’t let her see him like this. they were supposed to have a nice, quiet afternoon together, why’d he have to start acting like an idiot?

his mind wandered. no, he wasn’t a useless piece of shit. so what if he missed the shot? which he didn’t. but even if he did, they were bound to lose anyway, they were going to lose from the very beginning. he rubbed his eyes angrily.

arms circled his waist and aleena rested her head on his back. 

“i love you.” 

they stood like that for a bit, the silence in the room suffocated him, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it back. it was always so hard. the words were trapped in his throat, and his tongue wouldn’t budge to let them out.

“noel?” she tried to look at his face, but he turned away, “what's wrong?”

what _was _wrong? there wasn’t much wrong actually. no, there wasn’t. there was so little wrong that he could list them, and he did. in his head, he did.__

__first, he could say that the game went wrong because none of his team members could put their pride aside to listen to him. that was another thing too, no one listened to him. but it made sense because he was always wrong. guess that was second on the list, but it probably should’ve been the first. he knew he was going to lose from the very beginning. why did he keep playing?_ _

__“tell me what’s wrong. this isn’t about the game anymore. so tell me what happened.”_ _

__he remained silent. of course, he thought, of course, it’s about the game. what else did he have to complain about? nothing. not a single thing. he didn’t yell at cody when he messed up an episode of the podcast pressing the spacebar. he didn’t yell when spock lost one of his tracks, he didn’t yell when all his friends went out for dinner without him, because they thought he wouldn't want to go. he did, but that didn’t matter because no one would listen to him. no one would listen to him because if he was being honest to everyone, and himself, he wasn’t worth listening to._ _

__no, he wasn’t worth listening to. his words were meaningless. looking down at the floor, he realized that he had such a hard time saying ‘i love you’ because if it came from him it wasn’t worth much._ _

__he sniffed loudly, feeling his nose getting all stuffy like a baby, and roughly wiped at his face with his sleeve but the tears still came._ _

__slowly, aleena made her way, softly stepping around him like he was broken glass. only for a second releasing her hold on his waist to loop her arms under his into a tight embrace. he cried a bit more, but decided after he could speak without hiccuping, he would tell her. she deserved to know. he could tell her and she would listen._ _

__“i'm sorry, that i'm-” he tried to force the words out, but even the world didn’t want him to speak because he kept hiccuping in between. what a mess._ _

__“i- i'm-” he looked at her face as she looked into his. “i'm sorry.”_ _

__her eyes shone with concern, but she waited patiently._ _

__“that i’m like this.” he wiped at his tears before feeling a bit overwhelmed and covered his eyes with his hand. she placed her hand over his and tugged lightly._ _

__“look at me?”_ _

__he didn’t want to._ _

__“please?”_ _

__he didn’t say anything._ _

__she chewed on the inside of her cheek before reaching for the other hand and gripping it tightly. his fingers just barely held onto hers._ _

__“you're so special to me noel, you know that? you're special.”_ _

__she brushed his hand against her lips._ _

__“so when you’re sad, it hurts. because when someone like you, who feels so much, too much, is hurting, i can't begin to imagine how that feels, you deserve better than that.”_ _

__he almost wanted to laugh. special? he was special?_ _

__“you wanna know why i love you?”_ _

__he went still._ _

__“i love you because you’re thoughtful. and understanding. you do overwork yourself, though. because i know you don’t want me to worry.” she takes a deep breath. “i love you because you’re always trying to think about what’s good for me. you care so much, and i know because you look at me like i'm one of a kind.”_ _

__he could feel his heart beating in his chest. pounding against his ribs. reluctantly, he brought down his hand, and he thought about how much of a snotty mess he probably looked like. his face burned, but he could still feel her warm touch against his cheek._ _

__“i love you.” she repeated quietly._ _

__his face twisted and the tears came rushing back. “i-i love you.”_ _

__with her sleeves she wiped his face and laughed because she was happy. he laughed too for the same reason._ _

__she looked into his hazel eyes and kissed him, it was soft and warm. he kissed her back twice as hard because he couldn’t remember the last time he was touched like that. she snaked her hands around his waist and he cradled her face in his hands as their kisses grew in length and depth. the air around them swelled._ _

__love felt right, he thought as aleena pressed him down on the couch pillows with the biggest smile on her face._ _

**Author's Note:**

> might do a part two of this. horny? let me know!


End file.
